Not Afraid to Feel

It's 11:03 am. I'm looking out my bedroom window at the white sky and listening to the rain fall. I'm thinking about what I'm going to do today as my furbaby Sasha is sleeping next to me. My other two babies are also napping. I'm also thinking about tomorrow when I go back to work. It's going to be a rainy day schedule which is the worst! I would rather be on the playground and I'm sure the students would too. I know that we need the rain and I am thankful for it but it makes the day difficult. We will probably put on a movie that no one wants to watch and the volume will be so low that no one will be able to hear it. Besides all that, I will be working the crosswalk in the rain and the bus. Unless, at the end of the day, a teacher opens her classroom for us. It looks like it is going to rain all week. Oh well, I will be thankful for it anyway! 

So, my plans for the rest of the day are to take care of myself. I'm going to put on my yoga pants and workout. I'm going to do the elliptical first. Then stretch. Then a yoga practice. Then a meditation and end with prayer. I've already done a mani and a pedicure so eventually I will do a facial. I'm also going to work on my book. I'm not sure if I want to work on Book 3 or Book 4. Lastly, I need to figure out dinner. Oh, and yes, my house is clean and the laundry is done. Thrills! 🙄

With all that said, I'm going to discuss how I am feeling. It's been a very difficult 15 years. As you already know, I've lost my parents and a lot of loved ones including furry babies. There has been a lot of sadness and heartache. I know that stress does horrible things to ones health so I am on a journey to get my health and my life back together. My normal state of mind is happy and silly. I would like to be that person again. Now, my state of mind is teetering on sorrow and autopilot. That isn't good enough for me! To use a metaphor, it's like a clock that is broken inside. All the pieces are rattling around but desperately trying to find their way back to each interlocking piece. Maybe at the end of this journey, I'll be put back together again. In the meantime, I'm not afraid to feel how I feel and deal with those feelings and find solutions for them. Be with me as I start this journey. I actually officially started on 2-11-26.

My routine is:

Spiritual: I read God's word and pray.

Physical: Yoga, strength, stretch,  meditation and eat good/healthy food+get enough water/tea.

Mental: I read and learn new things.

Emotional: I journal about anything and everything.

Other:

*I write my books because it is important to me to indulge in the things I love.

*I take care of my home and pay my bills 

*Of course, my biggest love next to God are my "kids."

Please, take care of yourself and be who you really are. Love God and take a close walk with Him. One more thing...never be afraid of what you feel!

11:27 am.